The first Wednesday of every month is the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Posts go up the 1st Wednesday of every month. Check it out here and join if you need support with your writing. Don't forget to stop by and say hi to the co-hosts: J Lenni Dorner, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Lee Lowery, and Rachna Chhabria! It's been 4 months since my surgery and I've finally been cleared of all restrictions. I had a delay due to an incision that kept breaking open. I thought in celebration of that, I would give a timeline of how my life was every month. This may not exactly be writing related but I want everyone and their mother to know what I went through and why this is a big deal. Day 1: PAIN Day 2: MORE PAIN. I end up in the ER because it will not stop. Day 3: Pain but now I have heavy-duty narcotics to take the edge off. But not much. I'm still in a good deal of pain. Maybe I can get something done, but most likely I will sleep because I am exhausted from pain, lack of sleep, and drugs that make me tired. I've barely eaten in the past 2 days because of nausea and lack of appetite caused by the pain. I at least do things like brush my teeth and shower. Day 4: Pain has lessened to what I call tolerable. It's probably not what you call tolerable. Day 5 & 6: I can get things done once I get the pain to a manageable place, but I have to repeat the process throughout the day, and I'm still feeling weak. I'm haven't slept more than 3 or 4 hours at night since the pain started. My land lord is probably wondering why there is a giant spike in the water bill, because in order for the pain killers to work, I have to take them then lay in a tub of as hot as I can stand water for at least a half hour. I may feel well enough to leave the apartment or cook dinner. Day 7 and onward for at least another 7 days if not more: Still in pain, but its lessening. Still not sleeping the night. Still doing pain management so I can go work a couple hours, but when I get home, I sleep the rest of the afternoon because I'm exhausted (and in pain.) I'm really sick of doing hot soaks. Day 14ish: Pain is still there, but I think I might finally get to sleep the entire night soon. I am super excited about this fact. Days 15ish-?: For the next 10-13ish days, there is no pain. I am stoked. I slept all night. It felt great. I am still exhausted, but I really need to catch up on chores. (Hubby does help, but he is working a 40 hr a week job; things fall by the way side.) Day 0: Woke up with spotting. Looked at the diary my gyno has me filling out and realized shit's about to hit the fan. Crossing fingers that maybe it won't be too bad. Spoiler: It's worse. Return to day 1.
I'm not sure how to end the post. I could go on about realizing that I had been lying to myself about how well I was handling it, that I could now admit to myself that I was barely surviving, or that I had a scary realization that I have no idea how much more of that I could have taken. It's mind blowing. It also sucks. I don't recommend it.
33 Comments
5/31/2021 06:46:48 pm
I am so sorry your surgery went sideways like that. I feel blessed that my recovery has been smooth and linear, and I never even needed pain meds (okay, I wasn’t comfortable the first 2 or 3 days, but I didn’t call it pain. Not like, oh, childbirth or a broken rib).
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6/2/2021 07:30:56 am
I'm so glad things are improving - that's been such a nightmare!
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6/2/2021 08:27:58 am
Patricia, I'm so sorry. I've never experienced anything like that, but I've watched my wife go through the cycle of pain and failed surgeries enough times to know that it sucks. I also know that it doesn't always get better, but there will be better days. There will be better moments. Enjoy them and cherish them as best you can. We're all thinking of you.
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6/2/2021 11:47:05 am
Wow Patty. So sorry you've gone through this. I hope you're healing now and finding some strength. Sending you virtual hugs! { }
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6/2/2021 12:30:56 pm
Well, that's been a rotten trip. I hope you're now out of that painful period and heading to pain free days ahead.
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Anna
6/2/2021 12:58:46 pm
Let's hope you get to the bottom of this soon. Take care.
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6/2/2021 01:21:01 pm
I'm sorry that pain, mind-bending and relentless, has been your lot. Here are a multitude of hugs -
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6/2/2021 02:20:11 pm
Sorry that you have been in so much pain so many days. It can make it hard to take care of day-to-day things, and I can't imagine that you've had energy for writing. I hope you start feeling consistently better soon.
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6/2/2021 05:45:09 pm
It is amazing to go back and see what we have survived. I have done health journals a few times and every time I look back at them, I am in shock. I hope the memory of the pain soon fades into the distant past!
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6/2/2021 06:51:41 pm
Sounds like quite an ordeal. Here's hoping it's all behind you now!
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6/2/2021 10:28:32 pm
Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to you.
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6/2/2021 11:39:35 pm
I'm so sorry. I have several chronic pain issues and have had several surgeries. I say that only because I also know how frustrating it can be to try to convey the true level of your pain and know people will never understand. I hope you can feel real relief soon.
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6/3/2021 12:40:21 pm
I think of you and pray for you often. I hope you are doing better every day. I don’t know how you cope and carry on — you’re a strong woman!
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Cathrina
6/3/2021 04:24:55 pm
Oh my Lord!! I am so sorry to hear how long you've been suffering. In this day and age, it doesn't seem right. I hope you are over the mountain and that you are on the downhill slope, and pain free!!
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6/4/2021 06:40:56 am
Oh my goodness. That kind of pain and duration disrupts any kind of meaningful life. I'm so glad you're on the mend!
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6/4/2021 08:17:17 pm
That's been a long and painful journey. I hope the worst is now over and you can concentrate on the good things in life!
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6/5/2021 07:43:23 pm
I'm so sorry to hear your in pain. And to take 15 days to feel pain free -- and then to have it comeback. I do hope it lessens quick, and stays that way.
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6/6/2021 09:42:46 am
PS: So far you've had the best welcome message for your newsletter!
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Patricia
6/6/2021 09:56:04 am
Thanks! I'm glad to hear you got it, too. I get paranoid my automations don't work and people never receive them. 6/10/2021 09:43:11 pm
That really sucks. Years ago, my sister in law kept having severe pain and they kept scoping and finding nothing. She finally had a hysterectomy and they found she had tumors between the linings or something that were going undetected in scopes. Maybe they need to check things out? I'm no doctor, but feel so bad for you!
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6/12/2021 04:47:05 am
I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much pain. *HUGS*
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6/14/2021 08:03:17 am
I saw on a Facebook post that you have more energy now, and I'm really happy about that. Healing is slow going, especially for such a big surgery. I hope you're doing better now. <3
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That really sucks. Years ago, my sister in law kept having severe pain and they kept scoping and finding nothing. She finally had a hysterectomy and they found she had tumors between the linings or something that were going undetected in scopes. Maybe they need to check things out? I'm no doctor, but feel so bad for you!
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6/14/2021 09:40:06 am
I'm so sorry about all that pain. It took me a full year to really feel like I had recovered from my surgery, and really I didn't feel like I was that strong until a while after that. I've heard the fables of "that woman who had a hysterectomy and ran a half marathon six months later" but I don't believe them. If such woman exists, she's an outlier, possibly has alien in her DNA, or was in incredibly good shape before the surgery. Or all three. I hope and pray you continue to get better and heal well.
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6/15/2021 07:00:26 am
Wow, I'm sorry to hear how awful things have been. I can only hope things are on the up now.
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6/16/2021 08:13:32 pm
YUCK. I hope things are better by now.
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6/16/2021 11:37:01 pm
So sorry you endured that, Patricia. It sounds excruciating. I really hope things are better now. xx
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