#IWSG: 4 Months Out

The first Wednesday of every month is the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Posts go up the 1st Wednesday of every month. Check it out here and join if you need support with your writing. Don't forget to stop by and say hi to the co-hosts: J Lenni Dorner, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Lee Lowery, and Rachna Chhabria!

It's been 4 months since my surgery and I've finally been cleared of all restrictions. I had a delay due to an incision that kept breaking open. I thought in celebration of that, I would give a timeline of how my life was every month. This may not exactly be writing related but I want everyone and their mother to know what I went through and why this is a big deal.

Day 1: PAIN

Day 2: MORE PAIN. I end up in the ER because it will not stop.

Day 3: Pain but now I have heavy-duty narcotics to take the edge off. But not much. I'm still in a good deal of pain. Maybe I can get something done, but most likely I will sleep because I am exhausted from pain, lack of sleep, and drugs that make me tired. I've barely eaten in the past 2 days because of nausea and lack of appetite caused by the pain. I at least do things like brush my teeth and shower.

Day 4: Pain has lessened to what I call tolerable. It's probably not what you call tolerable.

Day 5 & 6: I can get things done once I get the pain to a manageable place, but I have to repeat the process throughout the day, and I'm still feeling weak. I'm haven't slept more than 3 or 4 hours at night since the pain started. My land lord is probably wondering why there is a giant spike in the water bill, because in order for the pain killers to work, I have to take them then lay in a tub of as hot as I can stand water for at least a half hour. I may feel well enough to leave the apartment or cook dinner.

Day 7 and onward for at least another 7 days if not more: Still in pain, but its lessening. Still not sleeping the night. Still doing pain management so I can go work a couple hours, but when I get home, I sleep the rest of the afternoon because I'm exhausted (and in pain.) I'm really sick of doing hot soaks.

Day 14ish: Pain is still there, but I think I might finally get to sleep the entire night soon. I am super excited about this fact.

Days 15ish-?: For the next 10-13ish days, there is no pain. I am stoked. I slept all night. It felt great. I am still exhausted, but I really need to catch up on chores. (Hubby does help, but he is working a 40 hr a week job; things fall by the way side.)

Day 0: Woke up with spotting. Looked at the diary my gyno has me filling out and realized shit's about to hit the fan. Crossing fingers that maybe it won't be too bad.

Last 6 months of 2020 diary my gyno gave me to track my symptoms. P stands for Pain.

Spoiler: It's worse. Return to day 1.

I'm not sure how to end the post. I could go on about realizing that I had been lying to myself about how well I was handling it, that I could now admit to myself that I was barely surviving, or that I had a scary realization that I have no idea how much more of that I could have taken. It's mind blowing. It also sucks. I don't recommend it.