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#IWSG: Is success worth it?

3/2/2020

16 Comments

 
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The first Wednesday of every month is the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Posts go up the 1st Wednesday of every month. Check it out here and join if you need support with your writing. Don't forget to stop by and say hi to the co-hosts: Jacqui Murray, Lisa Buie-Collard, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, and Shannon Lawrence!

​This month's optional question is: Other than the obvious holiday traditions, have you ever included any personal or family traditions/customs in your stories?

My answer for this is short: No, I haven't. With that out of the way, on to my insecurities!

I had a thought last month that felt like the perfect topic for an IWSG post. I was making dinner and I had a thought: I wish I was successful. It paused me and I asked myself, "Why? Where did that come from?"

Because really, what would be successful achieve? Would it really make my life easier? At this point in my life, hubby and I are living comfortably. We can pay bills and buy things we want. Even pricier things aren't that much of a strain as long as we budget smart. Being successful wouldn't reduce stress in that manner.

But what else?

I thought some more and realized being successful wouldn't help much in my life. It won't cure my chronic illnesses or the bouts of depression I get. Sure I'd have loads of money to throw at seeing doctors, but they'd all tell me the same thing about my illnesses: they can't be cured. Think about it. How many successful people end up addicted to drugs or alcohol? How many come out and admit they are dealing with depression. Being successful isn't going to cure those things.

So, what did I really want with that thought?

I guess what it really was is a desire for things to be easier. Because of the above chronic illnesses there are times when simple things are exhausting for me. I run out of steam easily, and since I can't have caffeine, I end up napping and while that gives me a small charge, it's often not enough for me to be able to do much the rest of the day. But success won't make things easier just like it won't cure my illnesses. About the only thing success can do is ease the stress of money problems.

And then success adds new, different stresses. When you get successful, that generally means you have tons of people watching you. They criticize everything you do. Demand things of you. Impossible things. You start to worry about it all going up in smoke and losing everything you've gained. Either way, successful or not, you're still stressed out.

What do you think? Have I hit the nail on the head? Or did I miss something?

PS: Don't forget to head over to my YA blog where Elizabeth Seckman is sharing an excerpt from her new novel, About Us.

If you enjoyed this post and want exclusive content, consider becoming a member of my community on KO-FI or PATREON!



16 Comments
Kate link
3/2/2020 09:01:11 am

I think there are definite clues and minuses to success. And of course, success does not always lead to more money, although it would be nice if it did.

Reply
Alex J. Cavanaugh link
3/2/2020 09:08:10 am

I get it! I remember years ago reviewing a CD for author and musician Jessica Bell, and one of the songs was called Famous - as in, 'Do you really want to be that famous?' I think it hit me then that I didn't want to be that famous.

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Liz A. link
3/2/2020 05:19:22 pm

It depends on how you define success.

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Sarah Foster link
3/3/2020 12:19:49 pm

I think for writers success would also mean more people reading our work, which would be a great thing! But there probably isn't anyone out there, successful or not, who is never stressed out.

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Madeline Mora-Summonte link
3/4/2020 05:36:29 am

The definition of success has changed and evolved for me over the years. And will probably continue to do so as I get older.

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Jemi Fraser link
3/4/2020 07:02:02 am

Couldn't agree more. Fame brings along enormous problems that my introverted heart couldn't handle!
Chronic illness is exhausting and so tough to cope with. It's one of those medical areas that needs giant $ put into real research

Reply
PJ Colando link
3/4/2020 07:45:07 am

Fame - what a great topic to ponder! No answers here and I'm certain it'll never bust down my door. No matter. I write. It's my 'elegant hobby' anyway... but, ah, a taste might be splendid for a day!

Now I'll have Bowie's song, Fame, as an earworm all day (wink-wink)

Reply
Chrys Fey link
3/4/2020 09:42:28 am

We get to define "success." We get to decide what success looks like for ourselves. Your idea of success doesn't have to look like anyone else's. Being successful doesn't have to do with fame if that's not what you want. :)

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M.J. Fifield link
3/4/2020 01:34:31 pm

I agree with Chrys—that each of us has to decide for ourselves what success looks like. I know I drive some writers crazy when they find out I have zero interest in movie deals or bestsellers lists. To each their own.

Reply
Anna
3/4/2020 02:22:36 pm

Success is measured in so many ways. And you're right. Money can't buy good heath, or happiness. Take care.

<a href="http://emaginette.wordpress.com"> Anna from elements of emaginette</a>

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Lee Lowery link
3/4/2020 03:31:48 pm

The 'easy' ship set sail without me some time ago. Success for me has evolved into a day where I've made my husband comfortable, watched a sunset or sat in front of a nice fire, snuggled with my kitty, enjoyed a good meal or glass of wine. Money is a tool, like a screwdriver or a mop. More wouldn't significantly change my life now. And I've definitely realized that being well-known or famous would be an absolute nightmare for an introvert like me.

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Susan M Gourley link
3/4/2020 05:00:15 pm

I do wish for greater success because I know how much work I've put into this writing career and things I've sacrificed. I don't feel like I'm failing now, but I'm not where I want to be.

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Samantha J Bryant link
3/4/2020 06:00:10 pm

Interesting. I definitely see your thinking. I've been working to focus on my own, personal measures of success and take joy in them rather than always striving for external measures that might be valued by others. But it's difficult sometimes. Especially when one of the measures of success is for many is money, which I definitely wish for more of.

Reply
Lynda R Young as Elle Cardy link
3/4/2020 08:59:29 pm

We definitely need to work out what "success" means to us--and it will be different for all of us. I finally worked out that for me, success means getting my stories out there. I'm doing that. At last! I'm not earning a lot, but I'm getting my stories out into the world and that's made me super happy.

By the way, people who nap are statistically more likely to live longer ;)

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Tamara Ann Narayan link
3/6/2020 07:10:23 am

I suppose we can define success however we wish. I'd love to have an agent and sell a book to a traditional publisher, but would I love to have a contract and be under pressure to produce a book by a certain date? Maybe, maybe not. Success right now would be working consistently toward a second draft. I'd be pleased with that.

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Heather R. Holden link
3/7/2020 02:49:20 am

Great point about success having both pros and cons. It definitely won't fix all the problems someone has. (For me, the most desirable thing about success is financial stability, and just...feeling like someone other than me enjoys my dumb characters, haha.) And I hope life eventually does feel easier for you, somehow--chronic illnesses are no fun to live with, for sure! <3

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